“Almost Royalty” – Are you Exotic?

When I think of exotic, I think of a mysterious foreigner who teases me with his lack of English. (Thank you EVERY romance novel – A mix of sarcasm and seriousness) However outside of exotic cars, exotic pets, and exotic food, I haven’t really seen an exotic man. Is it because I live in LA?

 

This is mostly due to a fatal flaw somewhere to be found. Damn, he could look exotic – sporty physique, amazing tan, and the perfect bone structure, but right when he opens his mouth all I can think of is Douche, emphasis on the capital D.

 

My expectations may be high, but I will find the perfect exotic man. If not, I’ll stick to my fluffy romance novels. Thank you very much!

 

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“Almost Royalty” – Lena Dunham- “Who Knew that Shag Carpeting had Multiple Uses?

Okay Ms. Dunham, in what world do you think this…shag carpet…is something presentable to the public? Forget the whole Red Carpet and Emmys for a second. I’m just flabbergasted by the whole idea of this dress. The only logical explanation I can think of is you’re sneaking a small child or little person where the dress somehow lifts up behind you.

 

To this, all I can do is shake my head, put my hands up, and air quote “fashion.” I’ll see you on the #1 spot for “Worst Outfit at the Emmys.”

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Almost Royalty – Countdown “Worst Breakup Ever” Winner #2

Worst Breakup Winner #2!

 

It’s that time again! We had another wonderful turnout for our Worst Breakup Ever contest in which the winners were sent a free signed copy of my novel Almost Royalty: A Romantic Comedy…of Sorts. There were many jaw-dropping, shocking stories we may have turned a few women off to men – Sorry men. Regardless, I think we all can agree that the men portrayed in the winning stories are absolutely heartless.

I want to give a huge shout out to all the blogs that gave me the honor of hosting the contest! I had a wonderful time stopping by and sharing my Worst Breakup Story! If you are interested in hosting my next themed contest (Worst Frenemy Ever) please email Amanda at alarson@ftpublishers.com

 

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Don’t forget to check out the newly published Almost Royalty: A Romantic Comedy…Of Sorts by Courtney Hamilton on Amazon.

                                         Almost Royalty: A Romantic Comedy... Of Sorts

 

So, here’s one of the Worst Breakup Ever Submissions…

“Worst Date Ever” #2

“I ended up dating my best friend in highschool. We were really close and hung out all the time and he even went on family vacations with us. He wanted to try being together but I was adamant that I didn’t want to lose my best friend. I also lived in reality and we were in 10th grade. I knew it wouldn’t last if we did get together. There was a kiss one night at a party and things changed and I decided to give it a go. I fell hard and fast. He was my boyfriend and best friend. It should have been easy since we knew everything about eachother, but I discovered there was a whole other layer to him. He didn’t like my swearing all of a sudden and started to try to correct me and some of my behavior. There is a lot of things I can list, but he ended up breaking my heart telling me he loved me but he couldn’t be with me right now but saw us getting married one day. WTF? Two weeks later, he decided he made a mistake and begged me to take him back. This was my best friend and stupid me missed the friendship the most so I said ok, just to have it happen again three weeks later. Same excuse! About a month later, I missed my best friend and when I was at a friends house and discovered her mother dead, I was horrified, upset and a mess. I call him, my ex, but I wanted comfort from my friend. He was there for me, but after the dust settled, it was done again! That’s number 3. I learned my lesson and it was done, including the friendship I had come to count on. He tried pulling me aside a year later at a party, saying he loved me and that he couldn’t be with me right now but wanted to marry me someday. I was on to him and done with his shit and so sick of that stupid line and said adios for good! It was hard and the thing I missed the most wasn’t the relationship but the friendship that I came to count on”

 

You can read more of Bookhounds Worst Breakup Ever submissions HERE

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Purina Cat Chow #MyRescueStory

I don’t know how it happened but I have currently adopted . .  or been adopted by . . . four cats.    As I write this, two of them– Nene (the Diva) and Buzzy (my wake-up alarm)– are sitting with me, and occasionally editing my work by running across my keyboard.  The other two, Thor (who thinks of himself as my boyfriend) and Riley (the hunter) are taking a nap. Abyss, written about in my novel “Almost Royalty” as the cat who loved baloney and puking at inconvenient moments– is the pseudonym for one of first to adopt me.

 

Now before you think that I’m some crazy cat-hoarder, let me explain– most of my cats have just appeared at my house.  Thor initially appeared while I was eating lunch outdoors and scared me.  He had a square jaw, a muscular physique, green eyes that twinkled …wait a minute, this sounds like a romance novel– (except that he was covered with black fur… now it just sounds like a werewolf romance novel).  Okay, I first thought he was a mini-black leopard.  But he’s very sweet.  And Riley appeared in my storage room from nowhere as an orange kitten.  So, they became part of our household, along with NeNe (the tortie Diva, who bats everyone around), and Buzzy (who meows a little too much, like he is now because he wants some chow but it’s 45 minutes too early– but he’s still meowing).

                                        

Sometimes he can be the biggest Diva.

                                        

I guess you could say that I’m a supporter of anything or anyone who helps animals, and especially any organization that helps animals find a home.  So although I don’t usually do this,  Purina has pledged to donate $50,000 on top off the $250,000 which I guess they have already pledged if you share your adoption cat story at #MyRescueStory–and Mandy Moore is helping, because I guess she adopted four cats also.

 

Here is the YouTube video to all of this:

If you love cats– and I think many of you do– share your story. #MyRescueStory

                    

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Almost Royalty – Signed Copy Giveaway! (Goodreads)

I am hosting an international Goodreads Giveaway of my novel Almost Royalty: A Romantic Comedy…of Sorts! All you have to do is click the “enter to win” button and it will take you to the Goodreads page! Good luck!

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Almost Royalty by Courtney Hamilton

Almost Royalty

by Courtney Hamilton

Giveaway ends August 26, 2014.

See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.

Enter to win

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Almost Royalty – “Worst Breakup Ever” Contest (International)

Courtney Hamilton’s “Worst Breakup Ever” Contest (International)

 

Courtney Hamilton is giving away a signed copy of her novel, Almost Royalty, to the top 2 winners! To enter, all you have to do is tell her:

 

What is your “Worst Breakup Ever” experience? Share your story in the comment section below.

 

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Courtney will personally read every participant’s entry and pick the top 2 worst breakup stories. The winners will be announced through Courtney’s Facebook page, Twitter, and blog. This contest will also be hosted on various blogs, social media sites, and forums found in the “Participating Websites” section of this post.

 

  Only 99¢

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Enjoy the “Worst Break up Ever” contest and, for the first time, download your Kindle copy of Almost Royalty by Courtney Hamilton for only 99¢!

 

Download the novel here: http://amzn.to/1klLFo1

 

Terms and Conditions for Entry Eligibility

No purchase necessary to enter. Sponsored by Forrest Thompson Publishers. Giveaway ends August 5, 2014 at 11:59 PM (PST). Open Internationally. 18+ years of age. Void where prohibited. Winners will be announced on Courtney Hamilton’s blog at www.Ecochainofdating.com/blog, Eco-chain of Dating Facebook Page, and @ecochaindating. Winners have 48 hours to claim their prize once they are chosen, or their winnings will be forfeited. By entering the giveaway, you give Courtney Hamilton and Forrest Thompson Publishers permission to repost your story or recite it in a video for media purposes. Forrest Thompson Publishers reserves the right to withdraw or terminate this contest at any time without prior notice.

 

Participating Websites: The full list of participants in Courtney’s “Worst Breakup Ever” Contest is available on her blog at: http://ecochainofdating.com/blog/?p=1579

 

Let the Worst Breakup Stories Ever begin!

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Almost Royalty – “Worst Breakup Ever” Participants

I’m so excited to announce the full list of participants for my (Courtney Hamilton) “Worst Breakup Ever” contest. Please be sure to check out and support all the wonderful blogs who gave me the honor of hosting my giveaway/contest.
Thank you to all the participating blogs and Forrest Thompson Publishers for putting this whole contest together! I hope you receive many laugh-out-loud or speechless stories from all your readers!

 

Love the contest? Don’t forget to download your copy of Almost Royalty by Courtney Hamilton! Laugh out loud for only 99¢!

 

Download today!

“Post-Hollywood” novel and “a really intelligent (and satirical) take on the vanity of wealth and the alienation of privilege.” – Kindleman

 

“A hilarious, scathing tale of LA life.” – Kirkus Reviews

 

Good luck to everyone! The contest will go live July 28th, 2014!

Blogs:

 

Eco-chain of Dating (Courtney’s Blog)

Books are my life

Amanda’s Daily Grind

I’m a Book Shark

Babs Book Bistro

Book Hounds

Lori’s Reading Corner

Inside BJ’s Head

Laurie Here

So Many Books, Here’s Mine

Live to Read

I’d So Rather Be Reading

Kritters Ramblings

Psychotic State Book Reviews

Cellar Door Lit Rants & Reviews

Forum Groups:

 

Goodreads – Bookworm Bitches

Goodreads – How to Promote Your Book on Amazon

Goodreads – The Next Best Book Club

Goodreads – Advanced Copies for Review & Book Giveaways

Goodreads – Chick Lit Book Club

Goodreads – Making Connections

Goodreads – Goodreads Author/Readers

Goodreads – Women’s Fiction Authors

Goodreads – Books, Blogs, Authors and More

Goodreads – Chicks on Lit

Goodreads – Can’t Stop Reading

Goodreads – The Nexus

Goodreads – Chick Lit Central

Goodreads – Good Books & Good Wine

Goodreads – Bargain Basement

Goodreads – The Smart Chicks Book Club

Goodreads – Feeding the Kindle Addiction

Goodreads – BookBunnyPR for Readers

Kindle Boards – The Book Bazaar

World Literary Café – Author/Reader Connection

 

Social Media:

 

Courtney’s Facebook Page

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Almost Royalty – Countdown “Worst Date Ever” Contest – #1

Forrest Thompson Publishers, with the help of Courtney Hamilton, hosted Almost Royalty’s “Worst Date Ever” contest. We have posted the first 4 Worst Date Ever stories, but none compared to this one. Sit back. Don’t freak out. And share a laugh as we present Courtney Hamilton’s #1 Worst Date Ever winner! Thank you to all the participants of my first ever contest! I hope for many more to come.

 

If you would like to participate in our next contest, which will be themed “The Wost Breakup Ever,” please email Amanda Larson at alarson@ftpublishers.com.

 

Don’t forget to check out the newly published Almost Royalty: A Romantic Comedy…Of Sorts by Courtney Hamilton on Amazon. On July 28 Almost Royalty will only be 99 Cents for a limited time!

 

So, here’s the Worst of the Worst…

“Worst Date Ever” #1

 

 

” I was 17 and attending the local community college. There was this guy who started talking to me between classes. He was not attractive, but he seemed nice enough, so when he asked me out on a lunch date, I said yes.

 
We went in his car and were in an area I wasn’t really familiar with. He took me to some hole in the wall sandwich place. Our lunch conversation was very awkward and he was starting to make me uncomfortable. I insisted on paying for my own food to give him the hint that I wasn’t into him without being rude about it.

 
On the way back to the campus, we stopped at a gas station and he didn’t have enough money to pay for the gas, so I ended up paying for it because I really wanted to not be around him.

 
Then he dropped the bomb that he was a registered sex offender, but it was no big deal because it was only statutory rape. I was freaking out and would have gotten out of the car while it was moving if I had any idea where I was.

 
As soon as we were back, I got away from him as soon as I could. He kept trying to talk to me after that like it was all good until I had my male friends, who were all firefighters, threaten him off. I learned that day that I should always drive myself everywhere, and to not go on dates with weird, awkward guys.”

 

This story was submitted through the Chick Lit Central Goodreads Group.

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Almost Royalty – Countdown “Worst Date Ever” Contest – #2

Forrest Thompson Publishers, with the help of Courtney Hamilton, hosted Almost Royalty’s “Worst Date Ever” contest. We have received a large amount of hilarious worst dates readers had to endure. The top 5 winners were chosen and each week we will be releasing one of those hilarious, sometimes shocking, Worst Dates EVER!

 

If you would like to participate in our next contest, which will be themed “The Wost Breakup Ever,” please email Amanda Larson at alarson@ftpublishers.com.

 

Don’t forget to check out the newly published Almost Royalty: A Romantic Comedy…Of Sorts by Courtney Hamilton on Amazon.

 

So, here it is…

“Worst Date Ever” #2

 

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“Shortly after I’d turned 21 I was asked out by a guy while at a bar to see a band. He said his name was Chris and I gave him my number. We had a few very good phone conversations before he asked me out. I liked that he seemed funny, laid back, and attentive. I’d started to become a bit smitten.

 

When he picked me up for our first date he held the truck door open for me. I remember thinking something about how he’s as sweet in person as on the phone. I actually liked that I didn’t know where we we’re going for dinner or drinks. He had told me he’d come up with something fun.

 

We were driving and chatting for a short while when he suddenly dons a sort of sheepish attitude before saying, “So, don’t be mad at me. I didn’t want to cancel on you but my buddy just got back into town after being deployed. I was wondering if you’d be cool with us meeting up with him for a couple drinks.”

 

Not to seem uptight I agree. I’m friendly. It’s just drinks. I say I have no problem with this. Just about as I finish my sentence he pulls into the parking lot of a strip club. Chris offers the excuse that it was his buddy’s choice to come here. He questions me again trying to determine if this is alright with me while saying, “It really is just like any other bar except they have girls dressed in skimpy clothes.” Perhaps I said yes because I didn’t want to be the girl who complains, or I was a tiny bit curious (there’s a first for everything), or I was in shock and my brain hadn’t caught up.

 

Now, I didn’t really know it at the time, but this strip club is rather popular for having two sides. One side has a bar for 21 and up where the girls never get fully nude. The other side is for 18 and up, there’s no alcohol, and the girls are completely naked.

 

We walk in and Chris beelines straight for the fully nude side. My brain didn’t stand a chance of catching up. I think I started to have an out-of-body experience. Watching some guy lean backwards with his head on the stage while a naked girl practically sits on his face was something I could have gone without seeing in my life.

 

I tactfully pull Chris’ attention back to finding his friend, which we do on the other side. Thankfully the rest of the time at the club is uneventful. A couple drinks later Chris was caught up with his friend. I’m grateful when Chris wants to leave. I think the date is over; I can get him to take me home.

 

I, still being polite, suggest he take me home and we can go out another time. Of course I’m not going to ever talk to him again, but I don’t want to anger him. He’s had enough liquid courage to tell me he’s going to take me to a bar he likes by his house. He wanted to have a drink, just the two of us, and then go back to his place. The way he phrased this, and his general attitude, caused date rape whistles and bells to scream and clang. I never ever had any intention of going to his place and at this point I didn’t want to be alone with him any longer. I went from uncomfortable and incredulous to trying to stave off waves of dread. He continued to disregard my increasingly more forceful protests and we ended up at a sports bar.

 

I hesitate to go in. I’m not that far from home. I’m not sure what to do at this point. Call someone to pick me up? Hoof it home? He grabs my hand and pulls me inside while telling me to not worry. According to him I should lighten up.

 

He sits me down and orders drinks for us. He downs his and orders another. I can tell he’s feeling the alcohol. By this time I make the best of my situation and make conversation with a couple and their single guy friend playing pool a few seats from us at the bar. Chris takes leave to visit the restroom and the single guy quickly asks me what’s up with my date. I give him the low-down. He’s watched Chris decline into drunkenness. He offers to pay for a taxi to get me home. I’ve unknowingly found a knight in shining armor. But what to do about the increasingly belligerent Chris?

 

We see him angrily marching back across the bar from the restroom. The instant he reaches me he accosts me for talking to this other guy. My knight steps in to reassure Chris, but he’s having none of it. He’s too far gone with alcohol. The ruckus has attracted the attention of a security guard. Before I know it the guard has Chris in a vice grip and has picked him up off his feet. Chris is dragged from the building and literally thrown out all while spewing expletives at and about me.

 

I got my ride home. After being thrown out of the bar Chris started calling me. He left numerous messages alternating between apologizing, pleading, and cussing me out. I think he may have cried while leaving one and in another possibly threatened me. He was promptly and unceremoniously blocked.”

 

This story was submitted through the Eco Chain of Dating Blog.

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Almost Royalty – Countdown “Worst Date Ever” Contest – #3

Forrest Thompson Publishers, with the help of Courtney Hamilton, hosted Almost Royalty’s “Worst Date Ever” contest. We have received a large amount of hilarious worst dates readers had to endure. The top 5 winners were chosen and each week we will be releasing one of those hilarious, sometimes shocking, Worst Dates EVER!

 

If you would like to participate in our next contest, which will be themed “The Wost Breakup Ever,” please email Amanda Larson at alarson@ftpublishers.com.

 

Don’t forget to check out the newly published Almost Royalty: A Romantic Comedy…Of Sorts by Courtney Hamilton on Amazon.

 

So, here it is…

“Worst Date Ever” #3

“This was my second date with Paul on May 14th 2014.

We met for dinner at Applebees. Our plan after the dinner was to go to a movie. As we were eating we decided it was a nice evening so we would take a hike instead.

We drove to a State Park called Jay Cooke. Paul and I walked over the swing bridge, got onto the trail and walked hand in hand through the woods. We stopped now and then to make out for a few minutes. I body started to feel slightly itchy, which happens sometimes when im allergic to something. I did my best to fight it, I thought i had as i did not get the hives and the itch stopped. Mind you i did not tell Paul about my itchy felling as i didn’t want him to know and ruin the date. Once we were about a mile out into the woods we decided to get off the trail and walk down a hill to see the view. im guessing the walk down the hill was about 100 yards. Paul and i had kissed he then looked at me and asked if i was ok, because my face went white. I told him i was fine. Soon after my coloring turned blue and i couldn’t breath. I was gasping for air then went unconscious for about 1 1/2 minutes in his arms. Paul called 911. He said in the mean time i came to but then went unconscious again for about a minutes. 911 sent an ambulance, well because we were far out into the woods the paramedics had to come out by ATV.

Because we were so far off the trail Paul had to carry me up the hill to the trail, so the paramedics could see us. I remember coming to as Paul set me down by a tree. He asked me to lean against the tree for support. He had lost his cell phone while he carried me up the hill so he went in search for that. I was very unsteady and felling to the ground. (Mind you when I went unconscious I also pooped my pants. So Paul carried me and my poopie pants up the hill about 100 yards) Paul came running and helped me back up. I’m not sure how long we were there until helped arrived. I was escorted out of the woods on a ATV to and ambulance.
I was transported to the hospital ER. Paul met me at the hospital and came to my ER room. The doctors were not able to determine what happened to me. But I think my going unconscious has to do with a allergic reaction to shell fish as Paul had shrimp during our dinner at Applebees. I went into Anaphylaxis shock from kissing him. What a second date: Unconcious, poopie pants, and him seeing me in a hospital gown.

After all this I did get a 3rd and 4th date with him, and im sure there will be many more….”

 

This story was submitted through the Eco Chain of Dating Blog.

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